What your mother won’t tell you…

| Love


Wedding advice comes in all shapes and sizes. From the gentle/rhyming (something old, something new) to the confusing-yet-totally-sweet (“may this day be the least happy you ever are together”), everyone has something to tell you about what you should or shouldn’t do, and how you should or shouldn’t feel on your wedding day. Sometimes this advice is totally practical day-of stuff (“stay hydrated”- your bff, “make sure your bra fits so you aren’t messing with it all day”- us), and sometimes it’s way bigger than that. Here are a few things we wish our mothers had told us (and a few things they never could have known).

– If you’re going to have bridesmaids, pick them carefully. If you feel like you gotta include someone to be in your girlsquad just because they’d freak out and throw a Real Housewives-style tantrum if you didn’t, then they don’t deserve to be in your crew (and they’ll just end up stressing you out anyway).

– On that note, only invite who you want to. This one can be tough with family dynamics, but, seriously, this is about the witnessing, not “impressing the bank dude who had your in-laws to his daughter’s wedding in Napa six years ago… where ‘they released butterflies!'”

– You do you/Haters gonna hate. Though we don’t buy into the whole “this is the most specialest day ever of your whole entire life and it’s about you the brideeeeee princessss!” we do buy into the fact that this is a major big day for you and the love of your life and it is about what you want. Not in a (dare we use the b-word??) bridezilla bossy B sort of way, but in the way that this is your celebration, celebrating your union. So: you do you, and forget about any haters. There’s no space for haters at your wedding. Your wedding is for lovers.

– When you’re at the altar (or under the tree, or at the courthouse, or wherever you choose to do this sacred thing), when you’re saying the words, take a moment to look out at everyone, see all the people you love witnessing this thing, acknowledge them. These are your people. You will never forget this feeling.

– On that note, you won’t remember what anyone said, but you will remember how it all felt. Hold onto that forever.

– Have someone film it. Then watch it a year later. And every year after that. This is magic.

– Have sex. We loved Joanna’s post about this wedding night conundrum (logistics! buttons! exhaustion!), but honestly, just do it. It’s awesome, and it is totally somehow different.

Get a robe. Duh. It’s just the thing for the morning of, the morning after, and the happily ever after. We promise.

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