The Art of the Teese

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Straight from the queen herself: Dita Von Teese kisses and tells us just how to pull off the perfect striptease.

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Would you like to unleash your inner burlesque star and master the art of the intimate striptease? Here are some tips for offstage striptease seduction:

Choose your outfit:
The ideal striptease lingerie consists of a bra, a garterbelt, stockings and panties. The idea is to have lots of layers that can be removed in a seemingly effortless manner– deliberately and slowly in order to work your victim into a sexual frenzy. Choose lingerie that fits you well and makes you feel sexy. Don’t think too much about what your audience would prefer; a successful strip is about exuding confidence and sensuality, so focus on what makes YOU feel that way. I find that beautiful black lace lingerie paired with black garters and stockings exudes elegance and sensuality, and it looks good on every woman.

The bra:
I like a balconet type bra that pushes up, but is not heavily padded. Be sure it fits you perfectly. The breasts should not spill over the top or sides, and you should not fall out of it if you bend forward. The back of the bra should fall mid-back and not ride up in the back.

The garterbelt:
In my day-to-day life, I prefer a wide, substantial garterbelt to keep my stockings in place, but in the case of a striptease, I choose something more skimpy. Sometimes you will find that the striptease ends abruptly or rather “evolves” into an erotic encounter about the time the panties come off… so the garterbelt choice is vital! It is important to choose one with metal clips, never plastic or metal alligator teeth clips. I usually like to leave my stockings, garters and high heels on, but it can also be a lot of fun to strip off your stockings. Sometimes I like to use mine as wrist retrains or a makeshift blindfold. I find this clever use much sexier than buying a set of silly bondage equipment from a sex shop; it seems more natural and more spontaneous.

The stockings:
Nowadays, great stockings aren’t so easy to come by. Never choose thigh high rubberized or lace top stockings to wear with your garterbelt. Your garterbelt won’t hook to them properly and they aren’t as sexy as the real deal. You really have two options in your stocking choice for a striptease.

Option 1: Fully-fashioned nylon seamed stockings. These look the best and feel the sexiest, plus you will look like a dame that really knows her stuff! There is nothing quite like the rasp of true nylon against the skin, and the details of vintage styled stockings are beautiful and sexy. Always buy more than one pair so that if you put a run in one, you simply open another package and take a new one to replace it.

Option 2: You may also choose a simple pair of nylon stockings with a bit of stretch. This is a slightly more user-friendly, beginner method. One upside is that they won’t get any little wrinkles since they have a touch of lycra, plus as a beginner, you can easily learn some cute tricks with these, like removing one and hooking it on your toe while stretching it long with your hand, then letting it go, slingshot-style.

Panties:
Are you a thong girl or a briefs girl? Personally, I love full panties because I want each and every reveal I give to have a major impact. If you want to get really fancy, wear a thong under your panty, and you have yet another fabulous layer to reveal. My Black Dahlia set is wonderful for this, with its itty-bitty g-string and bikini. And then, bonus: extra versatility in your lingerie wardrobe!

Now, take these next words of wisdom and use them for the rest of your life: wear your panties OVER your garterbelt. Always! It’s absolutely silly to wear them any other way– you never know when you will want quick access, and I have yet to meet a man yet who doesn’t enjoy the sight of a woman in nothing but garters and stockings. When shopping for panties, you might even get lucky and find something with side ties or hooks. Not a bad idea, but I still prefer my technique of bending over ever so slightly and sliding them down while glancing back at my lover.

Pasties:
Unless you really want to explore the look of nipple tassels, I would say forget it. The truth is that they were invented in burlesque in the 1930’s because the cops were lurking about. In this case, there are no limits, so skip them and keep your boobies glue-free. You’ll thank me later! If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, perhaps you will want to explore the idea of wearing pasties for him, and you can even take your striptease next-level and learn how to twirl them.

Clothes:
In my opinion, a sexy suit or skirt + blouse combination is ideal. Look for things that cover your lingerie and don’t reveal too much at first. Things that unbutton down the front are perfect. Finding a skirt that wraps around to tie and close in the front is also a great way to reveal yourself. Whatever you choose, you need to be able to get out of it effortlessly and elegantly. One of my favorite striptease dresses is a Roland Mouret dress that has a zipper in the back that goes the full length of the dress, which allows me to unzip and drop the dress in one dramatic gesture. I call it my “cut to the chase” dress, and I wear it on my most exciting dates! Choose shoes that are as high as you can handle without falling over, and you might want a shoe that slips off easily. Ankle straps and buckles are for experienced stripteasers only.

Why don’t you…
Do a striptease with you hair? Every woman should master the art of creating a chic chignon or French twist. Practice doing this until you can put it in a chignon or twist with one or two large hairpins you can easily find and remove and let it down at just the right moment.

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Some more tips:

My personal favorite seduction technique is to have it appear as though I am just ALWAYS that way, meaning I’m always wearing stockings and garters and I never mismatch my lingerie, whether I’m on a date or at a luncheon. I practice the art of seduction every single day, have never “changed into something sexy” for a man, and I indulge in beauty and sensuality every day, therefore making it easy for me.

Do you want to wear shoes that are nearly impossible to walk in? Try crawling…it’s sexy and fun.

Perfume your hair. Spray a little on your hairbrush and brush through, starting at the nape of the neck.

Lighting:
I cannot express the importance of this enough! If you can’t dim the lights, you can use candlelight or softly drape the lights with a scarf. I would choose a deep pink or lavender scarf for the most flattering tones. Naked ladies look prettiest bathed in rose pink light. If you bathe the room in light and utilize side lighting with lamps, you can minimize the appearance of cellulite and other flaws. Good lighting is magical! Overhead lighting by itself is not flattering.

Music:
Choose music that YOU love. Below are some standard striptease classics, but ultimately, you should choose music that suits your personality and makes you feel good.

Some retro classics:
Feelin’ Good by Nina Simone
The Silencers by Vikki Carr
Purple Wail by Red Prysock
The Stormy Blues by Billie Holiday
Deshabillez-Moi by Juliette Greco

To cocktail or not:
If a cocktail makes you feel more at ease, have one, maybe two, but NOT three or four. A bit of “ivresse,” which is the French word for that light feeling of happiness that sweeps over you when drinking champagne–this kind of feeling is acceptable. But few things are more embarrassing than a sloppy striptease.

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The Tease:
Okay, so you’ve had your bikini wax, your legs are smooth, you’re dressed in your striptease costume and you’re looking and smelling lovely! Seat him in a comfortable chair or sofa and if he likes a drink, provide his favorite. This is a special occasion, after all. Is he a handsy fella? Perhaps you should tie his hands with a silk tie or those stockings you ripped during your rehearsal. We don’t want him spoiling all the fun by throwing you over his shoulder and taking you to the bedroom just yet. Or do we? The choice is yours, and it’s for you to decide.

Place a chair for yourself directly across from and make sure it feels stable…extra credit if you find a pretty chair that compliments your lingerie.

Begin by standing near your chair. Spend a moment getting into the music, letting your hips sway, and lightly touching yourself with small, delicate gestures. Look at him, look at yourself, touch your hair, your neck, and your hips. Depending on your outer dress, start to tease.

The key to a great striptease is to feel calm, move slowly and to feel sensual. If something unexpected happens, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself or to smile and feel playful. You are always at your sexiest when you are enjoying yourself, so don’t forget to!

Now that you have your dress or suit off, show him your body in your lingerie. You can saunter around the chair, snap a garter, bend forward and show him your cleavage, and give a glance at the back view. You can sit in your chair and face him, perhaps open the legs and close them again for a little tease or follow the seam of your stocking with your finger while bending over.

Now, let’s take off the bra… slowly slide one strap down one shoulder and shimmy or roll the shoulder you’ve just revealed. Touch your cleavage lightly. Now the other strap. Turn around and unhook your bra, while glancing back over your shoulder. Holding the bra over your breasts, with your back to him, give a nice look at your naked back before your turn around. When the time is right, either with the music or when it feels good to you, remove the bra slowly. You can drop it on the floor, fling it across the room in a triumphant gesture or toss it lightly to him. Do you want to get closer? Let him have a little whiff of your perfume, or graze his cheek lightly with your décolletage, a little tease of what you’ve revealed.

Next come the panties. Your chair is there to help you maintain stability. Before you take them off, tease a bit by caressing yourself. Turn with your back toward him, bend over just a touch, and slowly peel the panties down just below your bum. Stop there and look back at him with a little smile. Now take them all the way down, touching the chair lightly with one hand for stability. You’ve been practicing this, so it seems easy! Just as the panties reach your ankles, sit down gracefully in the chair and untangle the panties from your high heels. This is a moment where I might saunter on over to him and give those sexy panties to him.

Does your striptease end here? It can. If I’ve gone to these great lengths for a man, he must be special, so this is where I would shift from striptease to an erotic encounter, while still in my high heels and stockings! To incite “round three,” I would probably slowly strip off my stockings and garters…it works every time.

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